Especially if we grind the country to a standstill.

What am I talking about? Oh, nothing special. It’s just that there’s this, uh, civil war brewing in Greece right now. Because some farmers wanted money. A motherlode of it. In a country that is currently undergoind extensive cavity searches by the EU, while looking under the sofa for the last pennies. As they’ve been doing for the past decade. And when the goverment plays coy, these bad boys go…errr…badder, by shutting of the main roads of Greece. It’s become something of a custom in these parts, so we know that January is not a good month for travel, unless you want to be really well acquainted with the inhabitants of the car next to yours in the kliks- long traffic jam, have kids, raise a family, and about 70 years later reach your (final) destination.

But before we move on, let me give you an introductory tour of the greek agriculture. It produces shit. Greece is nominally an agricultural  country with no heavy industry and a service sector with both thumbs in its ass. But for many, many a year we import agricultural goods, because the farmers grew fat on european funds and forgot to produce anything worth selling. You see, most of them saw those funds as money to buy Merc’s and a second house, instead of modernizing their production methods. So, for all the billions they have received, they still produce expensive, crappy corn that they sell to noone, which is not a problem, because fundings are now their primary means of  income.

But now the money has ran out, and they still ask a billion euros for no particular reason. And they are besieging the country until they get it. And when I write siege, I mean it. The newspaper reports read like news form the front.

Today we read: The Coordinative Comitee (the 3 farmer syndicalists in charge of the whole shenanigan) has decided to increase the number of roadblocks, not to open the roads as a gesture of goodwill as has been happening in the last days, and close many ringroads. The farmers on Promachonas (border checkpoing with Bulgaria) will not allow the passage of cars or trucks with sensitive cargo, and today the farmers will shut off the rail line that connects greece to Bulgaria. The border checkpoints of Doirani and Eksochi remain closed. Also, dozens of trucks and cars in the port of Igoumenitsa (the port that handles 95% of the traffic with Italy) are in a standstill because farmers have shut off the main entrance of the port.

It’s like an attack by a foreign country. Stop internal traffic, and then cut off communication and commerce with the outside world. Bring the opponent to his knees financially, and then move in for the kill. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if they stormed the parliament next.

And the goverment? They are scared shitless about public publicity if they get heavy- handed, prefering to call the farmers to chat about the problems, but refusing to even discuss about money.  The farmers meanwhile call the goverment for more money, refusing to even discuss about discussions. And when I hear an exasperated Minister of Agriculture saying that the farmers are “a motley assortment with no justifications, whose ringleaders receive the highest fundings”, I can’t help but not have especially high hopes about any possible negotiations.

The only parties in favor of the tractor- riding morons are the leftist: the communist party, which has been stuck in the thory of struggle and war inside society since roughly the last ice age (and it’s coaxing the farmers to escalate its “war against the capitalists”. I presume that the “capitalists” in this case is the entirety of society) and the leftist Syriza (in greek, it’s short for Coalition of Radical Left, but “syriza” means “from the root”. Cheeeeesyyy).  Personaly, I position myself on the left sife of the political spectrum. I’ve been having a love-hate relationship with syriza, as it is the only political party that roughly represents my ideals (emphasis on the rougly), as I have to many brain cells to join the jurassic greek communist party and too much self-respect to even think of liking the governing socialist pasok.  But being left does not mean that I have to endorse everybody that screams about the evils of capitalist, or join in every time somebody shuts off the roads. Trying to bring about a fairer society does not mean giving the finger to the entire society when you put yourself forward. Anyway, that relationship getting more strained by the second, as the temptation to say “screw you” to push-me-pull-you syriza and join the increasing ranks of embittered lefts grows stronger. And I think that today has been the hair that broke the camel’s back.

You see, a central road at Tempi had already been closed off as a massive landslide cut it in half, and there are serious risks of further rocks falling. There are crews frantically trying to make the road crossable again, but the damage means it will take at least two months. All the traffic gets routed through small sideroads, meaning that a journey that took five hours now takes nine. So, when the head of syriza, Alex Tsipras, says that “I had no problem to cross the roadblocks at before Tempi, but I can’t cross Tempi. Why doesn’t anybody say anything about the big construction companies shutting off that road?”, I know that it’s time to pick my bags and leave. I don’t want to be affiliate to a party whose leader sees gravity and falling rocks as capitalist conspiracies.

Oh, and on a side note, the farmers plan to close the aforementioned side roads to Tempi, too.

It’s fortunate that scientists are still a long way away from understanding animals. Because when we do, we are going to have to face some really miffed lupi. “A man is a wolf to a man? Oh really? You mean shy, minding his own business, and vanishingly unlikely to attack humans? I mean really, when that phrase was coined you thought we were man-eating monsters and that “here be dragons” on the edge of the world, which was beyond continental europe, to be honest. Why still “homo homini lupus” , while on your maps you have funny places like US of A and Guinea instead of “hic sunt draconi”? Really, you primates. You get a couple of opposable thumbs and next thing you know you call yourselves sapiens. Not that’s modest.”

So we need a new standard for . We need a species that’s purposefuly mean and uncaring, hypocritical and with a “go fuck yourself” attitude. Any suggestions? No, sir, not lions, they are rather misunderstood animals. Nah, neither sharks, they bite us just because they think we are seals, so let’s put it down to misguided consumerism in that case. What? NO, beavers are NOT evil, twitcy little buggers that can bite a finger off if you piss them off that they are. Oh, I’ve got an idea: rampart syndicalists.

Oh, syndicalism is a fine thing, when applied correctly. It shields workers against greedy employers. In theory, it helps put worker and employer on equal ground. Sounds good. But then something happened: theory, meet reality. The syndicates frequently became effectively guilds. And the old adage “divide and conquer” rears its ever ready to rise head. The guilds are in constant contest, or, to put it with a marxist twist, war. War with the employers, the goverment, the society, each other, and, when no enemy is within easy reach, the syndicalists kick themselves on the head just to keep in shape.

So, when there is a conflict of interest between a syndicate’s interests and those of society, the correct course of action is apparent. “Protect our interests, even if it brings everybody else to their knees”. That choise is in particular vague among Greek syndicalists. We can’t sell our crops on the market due to the economic crisis? No biggie, just demand that the state buys them, and close off the most central streets of the country until they do (they won). The pension fund of the workers at electric plants will merge with a bigger fund? Oh, we cannot abide by such injustice! Let’s leave a couple of million of people in the dark, to show how displeased we are! (they won- after a woman died in a stuck elevator). We don’t want the chinese running a part of the loading docks in Piraeus? OK, let’s close down the docks, just before christmas, leaving the market suffocating (case still pending). Giving society the finger has become quite a successful career choise.

I’m not against people uniting to balance bigger forces- in fact, I’m all for it. Society would become a cruel place to be if that did not happen. If we work just eight hours a day instead of fifteen, it was because some people fought for it. But 300 people keeping a society hostage- that’s not cool. At all. And it certainly doesn’t help that many of the people doing so are the most slimy, unlikeable excuses for human beings I have ever seen. When I heard a syndicate spokesman saying that the state had killed the afforementioned woman in the elevator, by not granting the wishes of the strikers, my blood boiled. People heard me swearing from two streets away. I just hope I will see one day this man in person. Preferably while I’m holding some short of weapon.

Maybe we could pay those people back. Just do what they do. If you are a baker, stop selling them bread. If you are a plumber, just let them waddle in shit every time their toilet decides it’s a fountain. And have only one request from them, in order to start serving them again. That they crawl into a corner and die. And it’s important that we do it now, before they enmesh themselves too much in the gene pool. Otherwise, the howls of wolves that kept our forebears awake at night will be nothing compared to the sounds of chanting and plakat banging that will accompany our children tomorrow.

<The door opens, a student enters>

Student: I’m sorry professor, but you must stop the lecture.

Prof: Pardon?

St: Do you not know that a session of the Student Council is due today, sir?

Prof (cautiously):  Yeeeeeah, what about it?

St: It concerns all students sir. Everybody must be present sir. It’s a matter of democracy, sir.

Prof: Well, attendance is not compulsory on my class. On any class for that matter.  Whoever wants to go, can go.

St: I’m afraid you are missing the point, sir. No classes must be held along with a council. So that everybody can come.

Prof: But everybody that wants to come can do so!

St: Yes, but they are forced to choose between the class and the council, sir. That’s not democracy, sir.

Prof (one eye starting to twitch): So, by taking away the people’s choise to attend or not my lesson you promote democracy?

St: No, sir,we do so by removing the dillema of choosing one thing over the other and making sure that everybody can attend.

Prof: And by whose authority are you interrupting my lesson?

St: Sir, this is not a matter subject to authority. We serve democracy and freedom of expression.

Prof: So you do not really have any juristiction to interrupt my lesson.

St: You do not understand sir. My juristiction comes from the spirit of openess, dialectic freedom to which the unicersity is devoted. Oh, and the democratically appointed Student Association.

Prof: Are we talking about the partisan, micropoliticaly obsessed and largely incompetent student association? The one that incidentally has no power whatsoever to interrupt my lesson?

St: The one and the same, sir. Incidentally, you could go and announce to the 300 people already in the council that you will not stop your lecture, sir. I am sure that our fellow co-students will be very understanding of you putting your lesson over democracy, sir.

Prof: Oh, the council is already in session?

St: No, the preliminary commitee on the organisation of the council is holding an open session to determine the speaking order.

Prof: Oh, you mean that they are fighting again about who gets to make the last speech.

St: I believe it is futile to dispute over petty definitions, sir. I have to ask you again to stop the lesson.

Prof (wailing): But what is the so important subjet of the meeting that can’t wait for half an hour, until I finish the class?

St: The subject is not important, sir. The principle of the thing is what matters here, that freedom of speech is upheld. But, since you ask, the subjects are the upcoming changes the new goverment intends to implement, the demonstrations to be held on the 17th of November, and the discussion of recent global events. Each party must voice its opinions on these as well as other matters.

Prof (carefully neutral voice, staring intently at the ceiling): Oh, I see that these things are important. Will anything concrete come out of it?

St: Sir?

Prof: You know, some joint statement, instead of generally, y’know, throwing mud, like in every previous Council session ever held.

St: Sir, coming to, ah, something “concrete”, is not the point. The point is-

Prof: -to uphold democracy.

St. Righty-o, sir.

Prof: Well, let me not get in the way of democracy, then. Class dismissed. But humor me this, St… when you finish this pre-grad course, what career choice are you, ah, leaning to?

St. Why, sir, I will enroll with as a politician with _ political party to help my country, sir!

Prof: Really? Never would have guessed it.

[Disclaimer: This episode was fundammentaly true, if not as eloquently played out; markedly, the professor was rather less socratic in his enquiry, and came out quite a bit more miffed, to say the least]

Don’t worry. I did not suffer a stroke, aneurism or any form of degradation of my brain’s language centre. I am merely trying to roughly convey in english the wave of incadescent hatred and passionate, if a bit orthographically liberal, proclamations of incenced patriots, directed to one man. (Of course these were made in greek, and I had to get a bit creative to give you, dear english speaker, an idea of the general sentiment. Unless, of course, you are Greek, and you know all about it, including the various rants, from the interweb and blogs. Unless you do not read blogs, in which case what the hell are you doing here?)

To be more precise, the man who ired this wild eyed, spittle- launching cybermob is a greek satiric artist, named Panos Mouzourakis. Who posted a video online. Making fun of a big national day, the 28th of October. (In short, in that day in 1940 the then dictator of greece said NO to the request of the italian ambassador to allow to the italian army to take over various strategic points of Greece, effectively entering the WW2 fray in the allies’ side. The reason I capitalized the NO is because this day is, and I kid you not, the NO day in Greek conscience.) The response was immediate. It’s a good thing he did not make that video in a public square, because he would have been lynched there and then. As it is, the inescapable number of facebook hate groups emerged, and in blogs and web pages galore he was pictured as, well, a national traitor. And, while going to a music club to perform, he was savagely beaten by neonazis.

But what did he say? Well, to put what he said in context, it’s necessary to give you some background. On this day, Greece forgets that it’s a dysfunctional little country in the forgotten backside of Europe, and remembers the olden, heroic days. The days men walked proud and free, the days we bowed to noone, the days we made a difference. And we celebrate that by holding gaudy celebrations in schools in rooms chock-full in blue-and-white flags, cheapish posters of brave soldiers charging across a field, and students bored to tears listening to other students, also bored to tears, and dressed in black and white, recite the same fucking poems and singsongs every damn year. Really. I have been attending those soul- destroying events for over six years, and if you simply made a record the first time and simply pressed play on the recorder every year I would not notice. I, and nearly every kid in the room, would give anything to be anywhere else at the time. (Those few that wanted to be there you would not really want to hang out with) But, you know, those festivities celebrating freedom and individual will and our being a free nation, had compulsory attendance.

The next day, we hold school military style parades, not attended on pain of, well, much pain. Let me repeat that: to celebrate our not being a totalitarian, militaristic regime the students have to parade like conscripts. A flag precedes each battalion… sorry, I mean school. Roads close, and proud momas and papas go to watch their ‘un ones march in formation under the sound of drums, turn their heads to honor a score of dignitaries, and then leave flowers and greek flags at the foot of a statue of the Unknown Soldier, erected under the reign of the military jinta in the ’70s, in the most central square of my town. No, I’m not speaking about a totalitarian state. I’m talking about a european country.

So, Mouzourakis made fun of and ridiculed these concepts. And payed the price. Some men and women found that he does not have the right to make fun of the day we celebrate freedom. I will not expand on the irony of this. Whatever I say will not be enough.

Of course, these outraged souls are the same that, if asked, will respond that, why yes, of course they are direct descendants of the revered and glorious ancient Greeks, in blood and spirit. When faced with the fact that these same ancient greeks held their foul-mouthed, nothing-is-holy, pull-no-punches comedian and satirist Aristophanes, in the highest regard, they make vague sounds and change the subject. Those ancient greeks were really on to something then. When you make fun of something, it means it is open to inspection, its flaws loudly pointed to and its weaknesses revealed. But when an idea is deemed untouchable, it becomes a dogma, not unlike a religion. And it was under the name of religion that wich hunts happened.

A one-liner I heard and never forgot is “the best of men are full of doubt; the most terrible full of righteousness”. All those proud patriots the self- proclaimed lovers of freedom that do not see the irony of going through celebrations conjured by the military junta of 1967, were, are and will always be the dicator’s fodder. It makes sense. When you are proud of an idea, you forget that you have nothing to make you actually proud of yourself. When Hittler ranted under the cheers of a nation, he was speaking to a people close to insanity from being on the wrong end of the wipe-stick of the treaty of Versailes. Putting an idea, any idea, over the people affected by it is the foundation of atrocity.

Satire, introspection, a critical outlook to, well, everything is necessary for a sane society. No idea is sacred. In his video, Mouzourakis said “Why, what’s a flag? A rag. I bought it in the supermarket for 5 euros”.  While I do not agree on the strong wording, I  completely agree on the general idea. A flag, a religious symbol, anything that makes people rally, is completely worthless by itself.  If you want to be proud, stop reciting empty poems and start doing things that actually make you proud. Teach the childred what those people actually fought for, instead of taking them for hours out of the classroom to have them practise their parade formations. Actually live by the standards you look up to, instead of mindlessly reciting them while tattering them in your deeds. Only by seeing the flag for the painted piece of cloth it really is will you make it proud.

No, really. This has gone way too far. How is smiling creepily at me supposed to put me in the mood to put a cross next to your name in October 4th? How do you expect a cheesy logo like “The responsible choice” can sway me? I mean, does somebody get paid for these ad campaigns? I have the jolly good luck not to be an advertising student, but I do study political sciences, and I can say that littering a city with pieces of paper featuring some puppy- eyed, outlandishly smiling mugs isn’t exactly an effective way to get across your product. And no amount of penny-a-dozen logos about responsibility and strength of character will make me trust my future into your hands, fellas. If anything, it makes me even more mistrustful, because I do not appreciate your attempts to barge into my sight at every opportunity.  Today, I came home to find a dozen folders with leaflets, which I promptly disposed of in the nearest recycle bin, only to find some more by the time I came back! In some other blogs, I heard that some candidates even resorted to e-mail spamming. This really is ridiculous. Being besieged by smiling politicians really does not put me in a voting mood.

What would really work in promoting a political figure would be, you know, some decent politicing. I mean, when you think about it, the pre-election competition is really not all that different to any promotional campaign. “Vote me, not the other guy” does not sound terribly different to “buy my dog food, not the other bugger’s”. And, in the market, if you don’t deliver, you soon go belly up, no matter how good your advertisers are. This simple fact does not appear to have registered to our politicos, because in their actions they lack… well, where should I start?

The currently ruling party is falling apart under the weigh of scandals, while positioning themselves as the only responsible choice for Greece, and the ones to steer us out of the economical grave that the previous goverment and the economic crisis has put us in (mainly by taxing everybody to death,as they cheerfully say whenever given half a chance). Curiously, they acknowledged the crisis the moment they announced the elections, because everything was “running smoothly” up to then. Of course, nobody can really say convincingly why they did not do anything to boost the economy already, since they have all the answers.

The party most likely to win the elections has adopted a different strategy:” Promise, promise, promise, and hope like hell that they do not remember what we promised afterwards. Because by now everybody is looking for any small change that fell behind the couch, so we can’t really do anything when we are on top.” That about sums it up. Their leader is trying to copy the charismatic profile of president Obama which is a bit like Soyuz trying to copy Starship Enterprise… funny in a sad, pathetic way.

The amount of spite between these two parties and its members has reached new lofty heights. It’s not cold war, because if those two were in control of a superpower each before 1989, we would now be running merrily through radiation- poisoned wastelands with Mad Max and his leather- clad friends. They accuse each other of outright lies that it has now become impossible to tell the truth on many subjects. They tell the same things in different wrapping and call that profound ideological differences. Well, it’s not. And throwing mud around is not politics.

And you know what the worst thing is? They never, ever, not even if you stick a gun to the head of their dear mother, admit that they made the slightest mistake. Oh no, sir. We did everything right. It’s the other bugger that messed up.   Well, I don’t believe it, the disilusioned public doesn’t believe it, and they know it’s not true. In their smiling pictures, I see only some power- hungry wanna be demagogues who couldn’t coin a nice moto to save their lives.

And, because they have nothing substantial to say, they just smile away, uncanningly like TV’s Dexter when contemplating a hit.

And, in between, you get adolescence. A twilight zone where you can do (or try to do) grown-up things and those things have not had time to lose their sparkle. And, what with a full- scale chemical war in your veins, you are naturally high half the time. So you dive in. More often than not, adults smile indulgently and look away (for their sons), although sometimes they set up 24/7 patrols and set up beartraps in the garden (for their daughters).

But now, in France, a bunch of geniuses want to stop all that. In schools and businesses. Because , guess what, kissing, in every form and fashion, can spread the swine flu. So, of course, it has to stop. When I first heard it, I laughed appreciably at what I was sure, at the time, a joke. But no, it was real.

I don’t thing that I have to even mention how ridiculous this is. If you have more than  a single- digit number of functioning brain cells, you can easily see it for yourself. Where should I start? It’s way over the top a solution. We’re not talking about ebola, people. We’re talking about a flu. Something a normal human can shrug off in 5-6 days. If you already have serious health problems, then yes, you belong in the rightly called danger group. The same happens with, guess what, all the other diseases. That flu has a mortality rate of way under 1%. At the last record of WHO, in July, there were about 100.000 recorded cases of swine flu, and under 500 deaths. And, epidemiologists agree, that there were probably millions of unrecorded incidents. So, why the panic?

Hmmm, why indeed. Well, to get an answer, simply open your TV in a news broadcast. I am willing to bet quite a large amount of money that there will be a “flu report” or something broadly similar. We see, read, and hear about the flu about 15.000 times a day. So, our awareness of it is simply disproportionate to the threat’s real magnitude. The flu proved to be a boon for the media industry, an unlimited source of grim news to keep the audience in a suitable state of near mass panic. With that amount of coverage, I am sure that even the threat of psychopathic koalas mounting an attack on humanity would incite global panic.

But let’s suppose that we’re talking about a really bad ass virus, that must be contained, or else. And you are charged with forming of a nationwide response policy. How do you start? By forbidding smooching? That’s like trying to stop a river by blocking it with a spoon. It’s an airborne virus, people. If you really wanna stop it, make us all wear full hazmat suits. Or kill anyone who sneezes, and then everyone in a 20-meter radius, just to be sure. Or forbid breathing. Or vaccinate everybody. With 125.000.000 doses for France alone, the pharmaceutic companies would get a free bail-out-of-economic-crisis card.

Or we could do what we do every year for the largely similar normal flu. Vaccinate the danger groups and get on with life. Because, if that flu stays for long, and given the bodily fluids exchange restrictions, in some years there wont BE a life to come back to. And imagine the dissapointment of that last generation of unfortunates, when they find out that, although they have grown up, they are not allowed to smooch.

So, introductions. My name is George, and I am a political sciences student in the university of Athens. The purpose of this blog is not clear, even to me. I just want to have a handy place to rant whenever I feel like it, with topics ranging from Formula 1 to traveling and music.

The title… well, it’s a favorite obscure joke of mine, on the hapless philosophiæ doctorae worldwide. Because sometimes it’s ok to be an undergrad. Really…